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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Biological MSG of Madame Loso

One day at the dining room of King Dewata Cengkar, King of The Giant Kings, said "It is my best dinner ever, it was very delicious therefore asks the chef to stand before me...."
"I aye sir..."

After several minutes...

"I come before you your majesty..."
"Hey you are the chef ?"
"I am your majesty...." he started to thrill...
"Today your cuisine is delicious, more delicious than before, tell me your special recipes ?"
"Please forgive me your majesty I could not tell the secret recipes of mine to you your majesty..."
"Do not ever lie to me !" the King started to get mad..."if you did not add some special recipes why it can be different in taste than before ?"
"I pledge my word to you your majesty I didn’t add any special receipes whatsoever...but..."
“But what bastard ?"
"I mean…I mean please forgive me your majesty, I cut my finger tips accidentally when I cut the onion, and my blood poured to your cuisine your Majesty..."

...After that day, The Giant King Dewata Cengkar must be served with blood-added cuisine to his daily menus, even later he wanted the human-flesh also; eventually he became a real cannibal.... ( The story of Ajisaka, the founder of Javanese fonts )

I experienced the same with King Dewata Cengkar did. It happened when I was going to a hiek, hiek is a Javanese small food and drinks vendor around Solo Regency. This habit came from The King Pakubuwono VIII. This Javanese King (might be inspired by Louis XVI) was very fond of eating. Every night he visited all the restaurants, cafes and any places that provided delicious foods....

...the taste of Saliva who will think it is going to add some delicioustaste...?
One of the famous hiek was The Madame Loso’s. She was old enough, white hair and wore the Javanese traditional costume, kemben. This hiek was nearby my house, most of the time I went to that place. This hiek has their special menus like the lemon drinks; the taste was far different with other hiek recipes. The sweet and sour taste was just match with my tongue, which was why I wondered with its secret recipes.

Madame Loso....

With all my parents prayers I did the honored duty, to find out the secret recipes of Madame Loso’s lemon drinks. I would do it by all means. I started to visit Madame Loso’s hiek more frequent, became twice a week. After a full month I kept my eyes on Madame Loso behaviors. Finally, I got the conclusion. I was sure enough to say that it would give us a big shock ! Because its secret recipes was on her saliva ! OMG…yes Oh…My...God ! Her saliva has made the lemon drinks became tasteful, but why ?

I could tell you the secret; every time we asked her for lemon drinks, she got the dirty mop to clean the cups first. Madame Loso herself has the abnormal teeth, it was too long to bear by her mouth, therefore the saliva just poured directly from her mouth, and the bad news was; it almost could not be stopped ! Therefore, the mixed of saliva and all bacteria in the dirty mops was served in our lemon drinks. That was it ! I, koeaing, revealed the biggest mystery of the ages !

The conclusion was; that saliva stuffs worked as the MSG worked to your cuisines. It was just like the biological MSG. Madame Loso might be the grand grand grand grand daughter of The King Dewata Cengkar’s chef, whose blood and sweat could turn that giant King became a cannibal. However, if you often give your bad words to tasteless cuisine of your mother, or wife, you don’t have to worry anymore. Just add some of your sweat, saliva or even blood to the cuisine, it might be delicious, depends on the quality of your sweat, saliva or blood. Maybe you are the grand grand grand grand children of The King Dewata Cengkar’s chef. Who knows ?

Koeaing !
The Aristocratic Midas


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. hahahaaaandjiiink....

    chipmunk-an tenaann.. kemproh poen..

    there are no hieks in djakata.. i think this is a chance for you to start a big business, would you like to invite madame loso there? djakarta people would be like to tasting her saliva... :D

  3. WRONG buddy ! If you go to fatmawati road by 5 afternoon to midnight. You'll see a hiek ! Yes, a real hiek vendor injakarta ! Held by some metal boys from Solo, they just want to survive while keep their aim to have some metal recording ! Bravo to them...

    Bro, u shud try it some time !

  4. ya..ya...ya.. I know.. :D i had a wrong sentence.. i means like semarang, yogjo, solo dsb many youth from cawas like a rebel held a hiek poen.. but not in here.. sithik e pol.. if it was.. adoh men ndaaa.. fatmawati... and pondok tjabe poen..

  5. yeah, we must admit, this shitty-city is so cruel ! We just can not see the beauty of our oldschool...

    Over and over again, go to the office at early in the morning..then take some shits from ass-hole bosses and then go home by night....

    it is just like some curse from some old witch....damn !

  6. wahahaaazzuu... djakarta anti oldschool pro homosex...

    eh.. this site kok rodo sepi..?

    boeng! i had calculate to held a hiek poen...
    almost 1.5 million roepijah poen...!

    there's a poet from maroko..
    "if we can't find it we make it.."

    piye..? setor separo dhisik ora opo opo.. :P

  7. No problemo, this is just starting bro....

    About hiek biz, that's interesting, but you gotta explain the feasibility study first....


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